Hey there, hot stuff

So I was excited about getting out of school for the summer, right? Summer is the time for parties and re-meeting old friends and going on holiday and playing guitar in front of pretty birds.

SO WHY AM I NOT HAVING ANY FUN?

I'll tell you why. My mum is a warden. I'm in prison. This must be as bad as Azkaban. She's like a dementor. Sucking the fun from my summer. SHE TOOK MY GUITAR!!! I'm sitting in my room with BOOKS and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with them. I suppose I could light them on fire, but then she'd just ground me more for starting fires in the house.

I'm sneaking out. Who wants to see me?

ROBARDS I SWEAR ON MERLIN'S KNICKERS THAT IF YOU STEAL MY EXTRA GUITAR STRINGS ONE MORE TIME I WILL HANG YOU WITH THEM WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING!

Oh, um, does anyone know how to transfigure a couple of small raccoons back into a pair of shoes? Because I'd really like to wear them sometime, but as of right now I really can't remember how I got my shoes to become raccoons. And they try to bite me when I try to put them on. I think they have rabies.

If they bit me and they have rabies, does that mean I have rabies? Because really, I am too gorgeous to be walking around foaming at the mouth. Like, seriously too attractive. I think I might have to hang myself with guitar strings if that happened, and spectacular suicides only leave their mark if you're already famous, which I'm not...

So that wouldn't be good, yeah? Please don't let me be rabid. And OH MY GODS PLEASE LET GO OF MY TROUSERS YOU SHOE-RACCOON BEAST!

I lost my herbology homework. Teacher was impressed, actually, said I was the first student ever to manage to lose my tree-planting project after the sapling stage. I swear I left it right outside the greenhouse like I was supposed to! Any rate, I must find it somehow because there is hardly enough time to grow another tree before school lets out for the summer. Does anyone know of any tree summoning charms? I was going to try accio tree but... okay, so I did try accio tree, and branches and pine cones and such came flying at me from the forbidden forest. So that wasn't so good, yeah? I survived, though, not a scratch on me! Never fear, ladies, the gorgeous sight that is my face was left un-uglied by tree projectiles.

HA! I found my tree! Somehow it wound up in my closet... it's a bit sad looking but I think she'll survive. I named her Farrah, after that sexy muggle Farrah Fawcett.

This is a warning to my roommates: IF YOU STEAL MY GUITAR PICKS ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR TO MERLIN I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH IN YOUR SLEEP!
...now, now, there's no need to get violent in advance, Robards! I just said don't steal them again! HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY GUITAR YOU BLOODY PRAT!!!